Qu3pid's Notes...

When I was first presented with this topic, I felt many people would shy away from giving me their opinions due to the fact this could be a highly sensitive topic. People really didn't, they gave me their opinion and their belief on the matter. This article is not to pass judgment or a verdict on any person or organization, nor is it to bash the sentiments or views of any particular individual.



In my initial attempt to gather information on the question, I first asked the question, “why do a percentage of fraternity & sorority individuals let their letters change them.” I surveyed 5 students individually (in order to get their unbiased opinion), who did not know very much about the ‘Greek life.’ For the sake of organization,  ill label this group as ‘Gen-Pop’ As a matter of fact, the first 5 people I questioned were not even born in the United States, but they are current college students, yet for some reason they felt they could confidently and adequately answer the question.

These 5 individuals said they based their opinions and perception based on personal experience with individuals whom they know before they pledged – both personally and from far. How an individual can know a person from ‘far’ is beyond me, yet all their opinions collided with each other.

The common and reoccurring reply is that, someone gives out the belief to members of these greek organizations that “they are somewhat better than the rest of society.” One individual in this also stated that “they [Greek members] have worked so hard to get it they think it’s the only worthy thing to do. So they just conform to the way the past Greek members have been acting.”

This quote leads me to question, who is really thinking for themselves or members of Greek organizations just conforming to what is deemed cool & popular.  And if that is the case, who isn’t doing that nowadays? But then again, a case could be made, the members of the Gen-pop group don’t really know much anyway.

Two different individuals whom also have no affiliation with a Greek organization stated, “Individuals feel like the letters will make them relevant”, “some think they are cooler than others”, “They have tried to change who they are because of the letters in order to become someone more socially acceptable.”

One example I was given is certain AKA’s whom supposedly would have been lost if not for their letters. “They needed the validation of them being "pretty"; whether or not they were actually pretty or not.” The one conclusion that was made is that the individuals who change after getting their letters are the insecure. The ones who do not fully know their worth or don't realize their potential. To offer contrast, the driven individuals who have things going for them and know who they are have remained the same person even after getting their letters.

After this first group, it seemed to me I may have been asking this question a little wrong, yet the answers didn’t seem to change.  Instead of asking the question so subjective, “why do a percentage of fraternity & sorority individuals let their letters change them?” I changed it to “do you feel a large percentage of fraternity & sorority individuals let their letters change them.” The second group I interviewed consisted of two individuals and each have been members of their respective Greek organization for at least 10 years. I labeled this group ’10-life.’

The first individual of this group I interviewed is an active-liked member of Kappa Alpha Psi and a very respected educator working with the Georgia Public School systems. He joined in Fall 1997. According to him, people only join for two reasons: for their networking abilities and the thought of such a strong brotherhood or because they don’t know themselves and simply just want to belong.

In his experience, he has seen people disregard friends and only hang exclusive with new their new set all in the name of being members of their respective Greek organizations.  The second individual I interviewed joined Phi Beta Sigma in the fall of 2001 and is currently a well-respected coach within the Track & Field community. His belief is that it isn’t a high percentage, but it is a small percentage.  This small percentage he believes let the ‘letters’ change them to fit in.

In his experience, has witnessed “guys whom were respectful to women, then pledge a fraternity & start doing things they normally wouldn’t do” all in the name of living the ***** life. He mentioned the reason that this was done was because those individuals were attempting to live up stereotype When I asked him, “where does this stereotype come from”, his was response was simple, “I don’t know, but it needs to be changed to something more positive.” I agree. Both individuals in my 10 to life group do acknowledge that it’s not every one that changes, and the networking possibility are exponentially great, yet it is the weak minded individuals who change.

My question then is, as yours should be, who allows a weak minded person into their organization? Isn’t their a type of screening?
My last group I interviewed, I labeled the group as new inmates. I interviewed a current senior, and 4 different recent college graduates from two distinguished major University, one was Qu3pid. Each person in this group is a member of a different organization, Alpha, AKA’s & Omega. The senior of my group, whom is a member of Alpha Phi Alpha, told me, “I think if you joined an organization for the wrong reasons, (girls, attention, status, etc) it’ll change you; especially if you don’t know who you are or feel comfortable in your own skin … I joined cuz I wanted to make a difference, I wanted to better myself by surrounding myself with stand up guys.” According to Qu3pid, “It’s a reason incorporated is at the end of every frat and sorority, because at the end of the day it’s a business and it’s too many people treating it as a popularity contest … They get blinded by the popularity and forget about the service & duty.”

The message is the same, if an individual didn't already have “a strong identity within themselves,” they will indeed change and try to adapt to the stereotype. With this, we have to remember we as individuals tend to reminisce and recollect the negative way more than the positive.

If you noticed, how I labeled each group. I did this because, if outsiders and even some individuals in the Greek organization feel that a percentage of members only joined the organization for popularity reasons, it’s imprisoning the Greek community and I don’t feel they can’t have the type of positive impact they are truly capable of making. Could it be though, that these individuals whom we label as “they changed” don’t even know nor acknowledge they changed? If a person never really has an established identity within themself, then they become a certain way after pledging, they may then believe after buying into the stereotype of the organization – that this how they were supposed to behave.

Steve Jobs once said, “Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice.” I feel this can be applied here because, as African Americans we owe it to each other to help one another and with Greek organizations is a great way to start. Greek organizations are a great influence in the campus society and just like anything else in this world, if used properly can be very constructive and beneficial to the continual betterment of each person as a whole.

In ending, Jay Z once said, “No matter where you go, you are what you are player, And you can try to change but that's just the top layer, Man, you was who you was 'fore you got here, Only God can judge me, so I'm gone, Either love me, or leave me alone.” I feel that summarizes the reoccurring theme here, whether Greek or not, you are who are.

If you strive to continue being original, remembering that we are all different individuals, members of Greek organizations included, then together we can work to change the stigma and stereotypes that surround the African American Greek organizations. And as we do that, we work towards a common goal, the positive betterment of each other. Now wouldn't that be nice?

Im just saying … we can do better.